These are the worst (real life) CV mistakes ever

You'll never find a job if you make these kind of mistakes.(Shutterstock)

The content on these CVs are embarrassingly unprofessional.

We all know that perfecting your CV is of the utmost importance. Today, you’ll get to see how ridiculous CV typos, overlooked errors, and weak attempts at humour can make your CV look utterly ridiculous!

Each section of your CV needs to be completed with care. And while we’re keen on honesty, some of the content on the following CVs is embarrassingly unprofessional.

You do not want to look like these fools (whose errors made it to the Worst CVs of All Time list on the internet). Make sure that hiring managers receiving your CV are never able to add your information to the internet to be torn about by the bullies online.

Personal Details Section

This section is reserved, as the title suggests, for your own details, e.g. Full Name, Address, and contact details.

When asked to include an Emergency Contact Number, this bright spark wrote: 911

Read: The essentials of job application success: Send the right documents

Languages Section

This section is reserved, as the title suggests, for job seekers to list the number of languages they speak or understand, and the varying degree of their proficiency in those languages.

These are what a few bright sparks included:

1. Speak English and Spinach

2. I am bi-lingual in three languages

3. Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep.

Previous Work Experience Section

This section is reserved, as the title suggests, for your former job titles and duties.

These are what a few bright sparks included:

1. Taking care of the elderly and vegetable people

2. I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer

Explanation Provided for Unemployment Gap

This section is reserved, as the title suggests, for job seekers to explain why they have not been working for a period of time.

These are what a few bright sparks included:

1. Any interruption in employment is due to being unemployed

2. Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse

3. Getting over the death of my cat for three months

Skills Section

This section is reserved, as the title suggests, for job seekers to describe the skills they possess that make them an ideal candidate for the advertised position.

These are what a few bright sparks included:

1. Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail

2. Can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet

3. Able to say the ABCs backward in under five seconds

Educational History Section

This section is reserved, as the title suggests, for job seekers to list the formal qualifications they have completed, relevant to the job they’re applying for.

These are what a few bright sparks included:

1. Twin sister has accounting degree

2. I’ve got a Ph.D. in human feelings

3. I have a bachelorette degree in computers

Hobbies and Interests Section

This section is reserved, as the title suggests, for job seekers to explain what they do in their spare time so that hiring managers will receive an impression of well-rounded individual with an impressive list of soft skills.

These are what a few bright sparks included:

1. Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)

2. Having a good time

3. Gossiping

Related: 6 hobbies to add (and 6 hobbies to remove) from your CV

References Section

This section is reserved, as the title suggests, for job seekers to include the names and contact details of their former employers. The Hiring Manager calls these numbers to ensure the job seeker has a good reputation as an employee.

These are what a few bright sparks included:

1. My references are Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers

2. Please do not contact my immediate supervisor at the company

3. My colleagues will give me a better reference.

4. Please see the testimonial letter from my mother below

Very Bad Typos

These are just a list of unfortunate typos that Hiring Managers have found in applications. Needless to say, their CVs were discarded immediately after posting about these embarrassing fails on the internet for the world to see:

These are what a few bright sparks forgot to proofread:

1. I am great with the pubic

2. I often use a laptap

3. Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement

4. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store

5. Experience: Chapter president, 1887-1992

As you can see, checking and rechecking your CV and Cover Letter for silly errors could be the reason why you aren’t landing any interviews.